


sunsets fade, and love does too.

by appleofmysirius



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appleofmysirius/pseuds/appleofmysirius
Summary: semi deals with a painful break up.
Relationships: Semi Eita/Reader
Kudos: 29





	sunsets fade, and love does too.

“Count your blessings,” Shirabu tells Semi sardonically, as the waiter places two glasses of beer on the table. Semi narrows his eyebrows, as he chews on a piece of grilled pork.

Shirabu, who always speaks plainly and always sees things with a cold, sterile, rationality, looks back at him. “Now that she’s dumped you, channel your feelings into your music. You can’t complain that you have no muse anymore.” 

Semi wants to tell him to fuck off. That Shirabu cannot possibly be serious. That the wounds from your breakup are still fresh and that they still sting. But he doesn’t- taking a long sip of his beer instead. 

When he asked his former teammate to meet at the _izakaya_ , it was because Shirabu was the best option among some rather slim pickings. Tendou and Ushijima would be totally out of their depths trying to advise his post-breakup self; and Goshiki was still far too immature to be of any use. 

“I could write an album full of songs with the shit she’s put me through,” scoffs Semi. 

Shirabu nods emphatically, satisfied that Semi was agreeing with him. 

They bid each other goodbye at the entrance of the _izakaya_ , heading in opposite directions. Semi, on his way back to his apartment- only a ten minute walk from the restaurant- pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

As the tendrils of smoke swirl in the air, Semi is brought back to one of his earliest memories with you. 

“ _That will kill you,” you warned, plopping down in the seat next to him._

_“Like I care,” he huffs, taking another drag from his cigarette. Semi continued to smoke his cigarette, taking in the rather plain view of the parking lot outside the apartment.  
_

_“I wanted to escape,” you told him, gesturing to the closed door behind you, “too many people.”  
_

_The both of you were invited to this house party by a mutual friend- and while Semi only goes because he was promised a free flow of alcohol and he was also courteous, he could only wonder why you showed up._

_As though you can read his mind, you supply the answer to his questions. “I heard my ex would be here. I dunno- I just wanted to see him, I guess,” you sighed._

_“Now,” your expression turns sour, “he’s got his hands up someone else’s skirt.”  
_

“Fuck that guy,” Semi mutters to himself, remembering what he had told you in that moment. Then, you whined that you were hungry and dragged him off to a convenience store, where you proceeded to have cup noodles at 1 AM. 

He kissed you for the first time that night, the attraction undeniable and the stars in your eyes irresistible. You kissed him back, hand coming up to cup his cheek. When the two of you broke apart from that kiss, and you peered at him with your beautiful eyes, he vowed to himself he would quit smoking cold turkey if that was what it took. 

It wasn’t, apparently, since the two of you started dating after that night, but it still took him a few months after that to give up smoking. 

A wasted effort, it appeared. Since he was back at it now that you two broke up. 

You were in every sense of the word his muse. You intrigued him, delighted him, fascinated him, even infuriated him sometimes when the two of you got into arguments. There was one particularly bad fight where you had walked out, and returned to him with a money-plant as a peace offering. He still keeps the plant, it sits nicely on the cabinet in his front entrance. 

Putting out the cigarette as he gets to his door, he stares at the plant for a moment too long before heading to his bedroom. Once in bed, Semi stares as the ceiling, remembering the times when he would come home to your warm body under the sheets. 

“Shit,” he mutters, when his eyes sting with the pain of longing for what are now memories, tears dripping slowly down his face and wetting his pillow. 

He misses you so much. 

–

The next few weeks pass in a blur to Semi. His coming Saturday night is occupied with a dinner at the request of Tendou. Ushijima is supposedly to be expected as well. 

Tendou picks a decent Italian bistro in the city, and Semi sees Tendou and Ushijima already occupying one of the booths. The two monstrously tall, odd-looking friends of his almost elicit a chuckle from him.

“Semi semi!” Greets Tendou brightly, wiggling his fingers in some kind of a wave. Ushijima nods at him. Returning their greetings, Semi takes a seat. 

“How are you, Semi?” Asks Ushijima once their orders have been taken. 

“Nothing new, just work.” 

“How’s Y/N?” Asks Tendou.

The dreaded question. Semi would laugh if it didn’t feel like his throat was closing in on itself. “We, uh, we broke up.” 

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima offers.

Semi waves him off but he can tell Tendou notices that he’s downplaying how he feels. They wait until Ushijima retires for the evening, claiming that he needs to wake up early for an event the next day. Tendou insists they go for ice cream, which they do, sitting by the window as they share a ridiculous sundae.

“What happened, Semi?” Tendou asks, directing his sharp gaze to Semi. 

“We broke up. I already told you,” Semi grumbles. 

“There’s more to it than that.” Tendou smiles kindly.

Maybe its the absurdity of the situation- sharing an ice cream sundae with the person Semi expects the least to empathise with his breakup- that gets him to spill. Maybe its the fact that Semi so desperately wants to be seen for the heartbroken man that he is- to spill his guts to someone who will _listen_. 

“She cheated on me with her douchebag ex.” 

Tendou makes a noise of understanding as he scrapes the chocolate sauce off the side of the cup. 

“You really loved her.” Tendou observes. 

_I still love her_.

“Yeah,” Semi agrees, not able to say much else. 

Semi spends the train journey and the subsequent work trying his best to focus on everything but you. His mind tries to come up with lyrics for his songs. A way for him to channel the pain you caused into his music- his way of exorcising his hurt. He focuses on the rhythm of the train chugging along. A reminder that no matter what, life goes on.

– 

It’s the next day when everything comes to a head. 

Semi plucks on the string of his guitar, watching the setting sun. He’s opened the doors of his balcony to allow the sunlight through, bathing everything within its reach a vibrant orange. He’s playing some tune mindlessly, attempting to soothe the aching pain in his heart. 

The ring of his doorbell stops him, as he sets down his guitar, moving to unlock the door. To his great surprise, you stand on the other side, holding a couple of empty tote bags.

“Hi,” you rub the back of your neck, “I kind of left some of my things here.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Semi nods, moving aside to let you in. He wishes more than anything that he would have enough of his wits about him to even form a sentence but he’s dumbfounded. He wasn’t expecting you to actually show back up in his life, though he knows in the back of his mind some of your stuff was still at his place. He isn’t ready to face you. Not when he’s mere fragments of a heartbreak clumsily formed into the shape of man. 

Noticing you walk straight to the bedroom, he follows you. “Everything is where you left it,” he offers kind of pathetically. 

You make a noise of acknowledgement, rifling through the drawers of the dresser and disappearing into the en suite occasionally. When you’re done, you go over all the dresser drawers again to make sure you’ve missed nothing.

To his horror, you uncover something Semi has himself forgotten about. Or rather, something that he forgot he put there.

“Is this,” you whisper, turning to face him, a small velvet box laying on your open palm. 

“Yes,” Semi nods, fighting against the lump in his throat as you open the box and look at the ring inside with the same sparkle in your eyes that you used to send his way.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile. 

“I was planning to ask you on our anniversary,” Semi informs you, unable to meet your eyes. Your fifth anniversary was approaching in a few weeks; you had dumped him just two weeks ago. 

“Eita,” you whisper tenderly, cupping his cheek. He curses you in that moment, because you’ve always been able to see through whatever tough facade he was putting up. Whatever he was trying to hide. You always know. 

He can’t help it. Tears drip from Semi’s eyes; you collect them with your fingers when you cup his face. He still refuses to look at you. 

“Eita, look at me.” 

He obeys. Your eyes aren’t brimming with the tenderness that he longs for. They’re resolute- like you’re here on a mission. 

“Why?” He asks brokenly. It comes out a choked rasp. 

“The cheating was a mistake,” you admit guiltily. “And for that, I’m sorry. Because I never wanted to break your heart like that.”

“And I forgive you,” his hands wrap around your wrists, “So, please-”

“No.” You state firmly. “Eita, I loved you. You will always be my first love. But I’m not in love with you anymore. I couldn’t see myself settling down with you- getting married; all of that, no. I needed to get out. To find myself, my own identity.” 

“I can wait,” Semi pleads, desperate. 

You sigh deeply. Semi wishes you would understand. He will do anything for you.

“Eita,” you begin patiently, “I started dating you when I was twenty-two. Fresh out of University. I’m twenty-seven now, I want different things. I need time to be my own person.” 

Semi doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why you need to be apart from him to be your own person. He’s found himself just fine with you by his side. Why do you need to be separate in order to achieve that? 

“Eita,” it’s your turn to plead, pulling away from him, “please let me go. I’m not good for you.” 

“You are,” he rasps, reaching out for you. 

You pick up your things and leave. He isn’s listening, like always, and you don’t want to spend anymore of your time explaining things to him when you know he doesn’t listen. 

“Wait,” he rasps softly, “please give me another chance.” 

“Eita,” you snap, “you’re not listening! You never listen to me! You always put me in some kind of box. I was always expected to behave some type of way for you.” 

Slipping your shoes on, you turn to face him one last time. “I need to find my own identity. Outside of this relationship. Please let me have that.” 

The sound of his door slamming rings in Semi’s ears. Stumbling back to the living room, he sucks in a breath, burying his face in his hands. 

Had he really missed your unhappiness? Your dissatisfaction with the relationship? 

‘ _Please let me go,’_ you had asked of him. 

Easier said than done. But he supposes he would try. 

Life goes on. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes it's a little messy but i had Thoughts without any will to Edit, so. anyway, this is loosely based on 500 days of summer, so it's totally one-sided (and captures semi's projections on the reader, who is a fully-fledged adult woman). lastly, follow me on tumblr @1tooru. byeee!


End file.
